Thursday, February 22, 2007


Dear Players,

Just woke up, time is now 09.00. Got some things to do today. Will fill you Players in later.
I got this email today to my personal Inbox. This person who wrote this email, I wont post the person name here. The email is explaining perfectly what problem Avi Siwa has, and how I feel about it.
Its so precise in many way I couldn’t had sad it better. I really hope Avi and her family read this post. So Avi and they can realize her problem. And take her to a doctor. Because her problem, I could see already when I started to date Avi Siwa one year ago.. Its just she doesn’t see it herself. And her family doesn’t know her that well. Her family is very split. And now after sometime trying to rescue her buy trying to fuck things up for me. It really shows her family dont know their own daughter. So sad, so sad... To be a so-called family.

Heres the email:

Hey Patrick,
  Just recently got to read your blog and I was surprised with what happened with you two... this time I really think you have reached your tipping point. No matter how hard you try to love, it just isn't enough and that is really frustrating don't you think? Avi turned you into obssession and that is not love anymore, if you really love a person you will let her/him free because you know that your relationship is built on fundamental values of trust, honesty, love and not on superficial things such as looks, brains, money, influence and power (things that can go away). I guess a whirlwind relationship is such a bad idea, taking things slowly should be the step.
  Like the first comment I said to you before, Avi is depressed. There are different kinds of depression (bipolar, manic-depressive, and so on) only a pyschologist or psychiatrist will know the diagnosis, it will really make you nuts if you are the partner becuase one time it feels like that you are in heaven and a sudden mood shift it looks like you don't know your partner anymore as he/she turned into a monster of sorts. Being in a relationship with a depressed person (there is mild and there is clinical (which is always recurring)) is very difficult, it takes a lot of stress out of you. The person you knew before is no longer the same and sometimes you wish that she returns to where you are before. You will also need a lot of patience (tons of it) and understanding to be with that person. I did study or made a research on this when I was really attracted to someone who I discovered suffering depression, I really would want to show that I care and love and sometimes it
 makes me nuts not knowing if the other person do really feel that I care.
  Have you heard about the term co-dependency? It is typically called for people in relationship with a drug addiction. It can be similarly called to a relationship with someone who is depressed. It happens when you let yourself be manipulated and abused by the person suffering depression or addiction and will constantly tell you he/she loves you to get your affection in return for giving them money to buy drugs/ or to drag you with them in their misery. The painful thing is you try to give all your love but they will not understand it. This is a vicious cycle that can only stop when they get therapy and medication (for the depressed) and rehabilitation (for the drug addict). 
  You just have to let them deal with it at their own pace, realization will only come when they hit bottom (the abyss of the drug addiction or depression). This is the time when they realize that they are self-destructing and only when they seek/ask for help and recognize that they really need help will they be able to claw their way up. Depression/addiction is a disease in the Brain, it is not BAD at all, society just labels things. People should recognize that people are afflicted with it either by genetics or the alteration of their brain because of drugs. They are not WEAK or DIFFERENT from us all, they are just afflicted with this terrible disease. You just really have to be UNDERSTANDING, PATIENT and CARING and be SUPPORTIVE no matter what. Just ACCEPT what she throws on you. 
  Do not pick a fight or retaliate with what Avi is doing, what she is doing is simply a symptom of her present mental state (it can still be cured but it will take time). What is it good for both of you showing your dirty laundry to the public? Her parents or friends siding with her is very normal, of course they will always see the perspective of their child or friend because they know her for a long time, just understand that this is a very normal reaction. What good will it do to both of you if you will undermine each other? Since you put up this blog you made yourself public property but sometimes you have to keep things private. Your relationship is between the both of you too and do not let other people intrude on it. You, being a co-dependent in this partnership, will also self-destruct if you continue exposing things that should be kept private.
  The only solution is Avi should go to a pyschiatrist/pyschologist to help her deal with your problem and be FRIENDS ( if what you had was really Love and not anything else, it will not easily be destroyed by arguments and fights, you had your good times and a share of bad times). And sad to say my friend, as what my other friends have advice to me . . . is to WALK AWAY and let the other person deal with her problem on her own time/pace. My friend also told me that I SHOULD ALWAYS THINK of MYSELF FIRST or else I will be dragged into the vicious cycle and it will not be helpful (Study Al-Annon, the 12 Steps, Alcoholic Anonymous, Depression forums). The SAD THING is you LOVE the person but they will never feel it because of this terrible disease that has affected them. I think AVI is still A GREAT PERSON, its just that this Disease/State of Mind has clouded the real person, and only TIME can tell when they will be the same . . . that is IF you can wait.



Universal Player